In 19 days, I will have a one year old.
My brain has a hard time grasping that fact. How can my little girl be turning into a toddler?? Wasn’t she just born yesterday?? How can this be happening??
My heart is torn between wanting her to stay little forever and being excited to see what God has in store for her as she gets older. She’s such a blessing to me and Kenneth. I don’t know what I’d do without her.
She may have changed a lot in the last year, but she has also changed me in so many ways.
I no longer get angry when I’m running late and don’t make it to where I need to be on time. As a parent, I feel like that is just bound to happen and it will probably get worse as she gets older. I have learned to just try my best to get us there on time and embrace our fate of inevitability being 5-15 minutes late.
I’m more patient. I may not want to read “Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?” over and over and over and over (you get the picture). But if my baby girl hands me the book and looks at me with her big blue eyes, I’m stuck in a chair reading that book for as long as she wants me to. She’s only this age for a short time. I want her to eventually remember that mommy put aside housework or her cell phone and made her the number one priority.
I never knew my heart could be so full, especially when she smiles or busts out laughing. Children have this way of just making your heart grow 1,000 times it’s regular size. They say you never know you could love someone so much until you hold your baby in your arms for the first time. They are absolutely right.
I’ve never prayed as much as I do now. I pray for knowledge. I pray for safety and health for her and for us. I pray that God is guiding me in a way so I can be the best mommy for Maddie. I pray I’m making the right decisions for her. I pray that she gets saved at an early age and becomes active in church. I pray that she will have a good relationship with God and that she will stay strong in her faith as she gets older. I pray that as her parents, we set a Godly example that she can one day follow. I pray that she is as happy as she gets older as she is today.
So as we start to countdown to her first birthday, I look back at who I was before Maddie and I don’t miss it. I have enjoyed being her mommy so much and I thank God every day that he blessed me with the privilege of raising her. This first year has been fun, but I’m looking forward to seeing how God uses us and her in the years to come.